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Colbert

Telescope
A lovely time... and somehow I didn't come across as a complete idiot. (Who would, next to the Colbert character?)

For those who want the details... I flew down from Syracuse in the afternoon, and a limo took me to the Colbert studios on 54th and 10th... a building with his name in big letters over the door, where his staff works and where the show is taped. They showed me into the Green Room (each guest had his own dressing room) where I dropped off my bag and my suit. The suit, which had been stuffed in the bag, was a mass of wrinkles; a staffer whisked it away.

Since I had chosen to take the earlier flight (in case of delays -- so, there were none) I had the afternoon free. I asked a producer if it would be good to mention my book, The Heavens Proclaim; she agreed, so one stop was to go to the only place in Manhattan that carries the book, the bookshop at St. Paul's Church on 9th and 59th (where I had given a talk last month). I also picked up a few essentials at the new Apple store on the upper west side. Dinner at the Carnegie Deli, which is a favorite of one of the Jesuits here at LeMoyne.

By 6:15 I was back at the studio. Waiting for me was a large shopping bag of goodies, none of which I could possibly take on the plane. My friend Tom from LeMoyne, who was in NYC on business, came to see the show so I had him take charge of the bag. I will do an inventory in a couple of days, when it arrives here.

About 6:30 I was taken into makeup and given a few brief instructions, to go with what had been told to me before. Basically... at a certain point, a stage manager carries a chair onstage, and I follow him and sit down. The camera is focussed on Colbert, who is still doing his routine, but then pulls back to reveal me sitting there. Colbert is the comedian; my task is to answer his questions, straight.

About quarter to seven, Stephen Colbert came by and introduced himself; we chatted for a few minutes, mentioning mutual friends (like my Jesuit colleague and friend, Jim Martin, who has been on the show a few times). As he put it, "I play a totally ignorant fool, a willfully stupid person. I am going to ask you a bunch of inane questions; your job is to put me straight."

"Ah, like a college freshman," I replied.

The next half hour I mostly spent alone in the room, fretting, looking at the food they'd left for me that I didn't have the stomach to touch. Then Colbert came back for one last round of make up and headed off to warm up the audience. I got to watch from the wings. He basically did a question-and-answer, straight (out of character), which got everyone in a friendly mood. (The audience is small, probably about 150 people; I was given only two tickets for guests, and they went to my LeMoyne friend Tom and his guest. Tom is the head of the program that brought me to LeMoyne this term, the Catholic Studies program.) At that point, I went back to my room and watched the taping from a monitor in the dressing room. He did flub one line, which was done over; watching it later, the cut was seamless.

I was warned, I would be in the second act. When the time came, I was called from my dressing room, fixed with a microphone (which I tested, right there), and then taken to the manager with the chair. I remembered to sit down... and you can see how the interview came out. It looks a lot better on TV than it felt when I was doing it; I thought I was off, I was nervous as hell, and the last question was so off the wall that I felt I was floundering. His reaction saved the day, in my opinion; he laughed as if my stupid comment was hilarious, and the audience bought it.

Immediately after it was over, I forgot my instructions ("stay seated! don't get up!") in my rush to get back to my dressing room. The taping, which in theory was supposed to run from 7 to 7:30, was still going on and it was 8:00 pm. And I had a 9:30 flight from LaGuardia. A limo was waiting, and I made the flight with plenty of time to spare. In fact, I got back here to Syracuse in time to watch the show as it aired with the rest of my Jesuit community.

Comments

( 35 comments — Leave a comment )
beamjockey
Dec. 2nd, 2009 06:50 am (UTC)
I also picked up a few essentials at the new Apple store on the upper west side.

The Apple Store. It's like having a second church to worship in.

Frankly, I stopped to look at the Web before going into the bedroom to watch what Mr. Tivo has saved for me. I'm glad it went well (and that you plugged the book).

I was out in a tavern with the good people of the Naperville Astronomical Association after a meeting. Nobody was watching the sports channel, so I asked the waitress to put Comedy Central on the TV. We couldn't hear sound but your appearance was welcome. Most people in the club know who you are. A guy at the next table asked what was going on; turns out he retired from Loyola. I pointed out that you and he probably know some of the same people.

Off to watch the recording...
annafdd
Dec. 2nd, 2009 08:20 am (UTC)
Still have to see it! I felt myself growing nervous just by reading this. Phew.

BTW, did you see Colbert do the "nuclear explosions are cool" the other day? I thought I'd die laughing.
mabfan
Dec. 2nd, 2009 08:58 am (UTC)
I'm looking forward to watching thus interview. I bet it was your best appearance on Colbert ever. :-)
zachkessin
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:53 pm (UTC)
Can you post a link please?
johnridley
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:10 pm (UTC)
colbertnation.com
xiphias
Dec. 2nd, 2009 11:44 am (UTC)
So, does this give you a Bacon-Erdos number?
lauriemann
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks for writing about this! I hope I remember to watch the rerun tonight.
johnridley
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:12 pm (UTC)
Just watched it at colbertnation.com - Guy, I thought the whole thing went very well, the last comment was perfect. I've seen people look a whole lot worse on that show, and not many science guests do better (except the people who are used to being on national TV all the time like Neil deGrasse Tyson).
timestep
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you for this wonderful account of your evening. I always wondered what happened on this show.

I stumbled on your blog when I was searching for information about your appearance on The Colbert Report. Mary Peed has posted on her facebook that you were appearing this week. I'm going to watch it soon on the internet as I can't quite stay awake long enough.

I met you when you gave your talks at Michigan Tech a few years ago and chatted with you at drinks at the library. I know you met lots of people that week, so I just wanted to re-introduce myself - I'm Kirsten.
shsilver
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:40 pm (UTC)
Enjoyed watching it. You managed to get information across, allowed Colbert to be the star, and still managed to get in the last word.

Nicely done.
michelleqm
Dec. 2nd, 2009 02:39 pm (UTC)
awesome job
You did a great job, I watched it on the web this morning with my tea (procrastinating writing a dozen letters of recommendation, I am) - the last line was terrific! And I loved seeing the book fly in and over from time to time....

My boys will enjoy watching it when they get home from school (and tell me one more time that we **really** should get cable).
drzarron
Dec. 2nd, 2009 03:29 pm (UTC)
BRAVO!

Anytime an interviewee can make Colbert laugh its a interview gone right.

But hey, you've put up with Higgins, you can handle Colbert
stickmaker
Dec. 2nd, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC)


Heh. I'm so gonna steal that last line. :-)
beamjockey
Dec. 2nd, 2009 05:35 pm (UTC)
What??
stickmaker
Dec. 2nd, 2009 05:39 pm (UTC)


*Sound of innocent whistling.*

brotherguy
Dec. 2nd, 2009 06:22 pm (UTC)
You're right; sitting on lots of SF convention panels is great training for fielding questions from all fields (including outta left field), from folks of all levels of background and all sorts of, er, "non-traditional" frames of reference and sets of assumptions. (Or worse yet, very traditional sets of assumptions!)

But even more, sitting on a panel with a set of exceedingly clever and witty panelists also trains you. (Often, what one learns is to shut up and appreciate them doing their thing!)
lauriemann
Dec. 3rd, 2009 12:54 am (UTC)
That's a great analogy!

You were very enjoyable on Colbert's show.
herooftheage
Dec. 2nd, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)
i wish you'd had more time. I'd be interested in a good discussion about the ramifications of intelligent aliens, and their thoughts on religion, if any, would have on our theology.
brotherguy
Dec. 2nd, 2009 06:17 pm (UTC)
Actually, there are a number of books on the topic; I don't have much original to say. One good book by a noted historian of science is Many Worlds: The New Universe, Extraterrestrial Life, and the Theological Implications, by Steven J. Dick. Of course, if you really want to know what (little) I have to say, you can go buy my little booklet published in the UK, Intelligent Life in the Universe.
http://www.cts-online.org.uk/acatalog/info_EX17.html
jeffreyab
Dec. 2nd, 2009 05:50 pm (UTC)
I really enjoyed your talk with Colbert, hopefully he will have you on again.
forestweather
Dec. 2nd, 2009 06:55 pm (UTC)
How fun to see someone I almost know! Looking forward to meeting in person sometime. (Kim Ranger)
beamjockey
Dec. 2nd, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
Seems likely you'll both be in Chicago for Capricon in February.
min8ive
Dec. 2nd, 2009 07:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks for posting this--I was hoping to see the background story here!
madtechie2718
Dec. 2nd, 2009 10:12 pm (UTC)
Pah!When I try and view it, it see the following message:

.................................................
Dear Great Britain,

We're terribly sorry, but full episodes of The Colbert Report are not available.

Bur please don't send any Red Coats in retaliation at this time, as you CAN experience the truthiness at FXUK/
...................................................

The low budget FX sat channel, shows a lot of old US imports...

So, any thought where I might see this rather sooner?
brotherguy
Dec. 3rd, 2009 12:10 am (UTC)
In the last 24 hours, the book I plugged on the show (The Heavens Proclaim) has jumped in Amazon.com sales rankings from around #83,000 to around #4,000. But considering that I think they probably only had 20 in stock, and claim to have 15 in stock now, I am not sure how many sales that actually counts!
beamjockey
Dec. 3rd, 2009 04:52 am (UTC)
2533 among all books tonight, #4 among astronomy books (passing Turn Left at Orion which is at #6 in astronomy and #3007 overall-- not bad for an old book!). Still 15 copies in stock.
bercilakslady
Dec. 3rd, 2009 03:16 am (UTC)
Nice job. You managed to let Colbert be silly and still get your point across, which clearly comes from being on panels at cons, and was fun to watch.

Thanks for the background report. It's fun to see how the show actually happens.
apostle_of_eris
Dec. 3rd, 2009 04:08 am (UTC)
You did quite well.
You also had the better interviewee seat. At the desk, he waits for answers to (at least some of) his questions. When he goes over to the table on the other side, he often just rides right over whatever the sucker is trying to say.
One of the semi-subtlties of the show that I enjoy is that while he pretends to be a flaming Nazi gasbag, he features guests and books which are "progressive" almost exclusively. You're in good company.
I've never seen you in the collar before, but it made your closer even more perfect. You caught him totally off guard, which is as successful as it gets.
wldrose
Dec. 3rd, 2009 04:17 pm (UTC)
you have made the front page of digg (and it was both fun and interesting)

http://digg.com/space/Colbert_Talks_Aliens_with_Vatican_Astronomer_video
isherempress
Dec. 3rd, 2009 06:08 pm (UTC)
Nice job, Guy! Complimenti! (And thanks for the great write-up, too!)
mike_van_pelt
Dec. 4th, 2009 09:23 am (UTC)
I enjoyed your segment on Colbert a lot -- I'd love to see you on some other program where you have more time and a lot less Colbert. I find Colbert's "Nyuk nyuk, all conservatives are complete idiots; watch me prove it by pretending to be a conservative idiot, nyuk nyuk" act to be insufferable in the extreme.

You had to be doing well for me to even watch, much more so to enjoy a Colbert segment!
liveavatar
Dec. 6th, 2009 06:44 am (UTC)
I finally got to see your segment after days away from Colbert -- great stuff. You came off well, and yes, that last comment was the perfect capper.

And you got the Colbert Bump! :)
mbumby
Dec. 13th, 2009 05:01 pm (UTC)
Watched it off the net -- thought it was great. Passed the link on to a friend who said that it was enjoyable but you didn't get enough time.
( 35 comments — Leave a comment )